Deep thoughts at 4 am

So, I'm sitting up at 345am because I woke up at 230 to Liam fussing and I just haven't been able to go back to sleep. Today is my precious Liam's first birthday...and I'm so happy for him cause he's such a big boy and such a sweet little man, but I'm kinda sad too. This year just went by too fast and I don't want it to speed by like this. As parents, we are enjoying EVERYTHING about being Liam's mommy and daddy, seriously, I can't describe it to anyone who hasn't been blessed with this experience yet. Matthew and I were talking before we went to sleep the other night and he got real quite and then said, "I just didn't realize I could love someone so much." My heart just swelled up because I feel the exact same way. I know it's bad, but I love that he wants to see me more than other people most of the time. It makes my heart warm when he starts clinging to my legs because he wants his mommy to hold him. I don't know, maybe it's because we had to wait so long to have him, or maybe it just that way for everyone. I hope it's that way for everyone because it's just such a blessing. We can be stressed out about paying bills, or work, or we might have just gotten into an argument and all we have to do is get in the floor and play with Liam for our prespective to come back into focus. He's our world and I'm so afraid it's going to just slip by me and the next thing I know I'm going to look up and he's going to be headed to college. About a week ago he took his last bedtime bottle...and I left his room and cried a little. Karen Kingsberry writes a children's book that is all about your childs "lasts", like the last time to rock them to sleep, the last time you hold them on your hip, the last time you help them with homework....etc. Well I was reading that to Liam the other day and I still get all choked up when I read it because he's already had so my "lasts".


Okay, I got all that out so hopefully I can go to sleep now...I just thought i would throw in a cute pic of Liam sharing a sucker with daddy...this is one of my favorite pictures!